Q: My Sir has a fantasy of smoking a cigar and ashing into my mouth. I want to give that to him…. but that seems really scary. How can I prepare?
Oh Cigar play – I credit this activity (and Sysiphe’s This Femme does Cigars class) with the completion of my slide into switchiness. All those happy little sounds of arousal and fear – and it’s the kinda fear you don’t have to fake; after all, cigar play involves playing with temperatures hot enough to burn and permanently scar; so this isn’t a play to be taken lightly.
The following is really Ashee/Ash Eater side up focused; but Ashers, if you’re looking to learn or improve this skill, check out Kink Academy – specifically Cigar Play: Ash parts 1 and 2. There really is an art to ashing (roll it, don’t tap it like a cigarette!), so take some time to properly learn it. I’m going to use words like top and bottom for the sake of ease; but please know that you can really mix and match – even when I’m topping nearly as much ash ends up in my mouth as it does my bottoms. What can I say? I like things in my mouth.>
There are lots of ways you can ease into this type of play if ashing directly into the mouth is more intense than you want to go right now.
- Start with sensation play:
- Trail the cigar close to the skin so you can feel the heat from the cherry – the top should practice this on themselves first to get a feel for distance.
- Play with the smoke; play with blowing it harshly in someone’s face, or sensually blowing it in someone’s face. Try getting in really close to your partner and let the smoke casually glide up their neck.
- Baby step your way into eating ash.
- Ash into a bowl or a cup and have your partner feed it to you. Want more intensity? They can shove your face into the bowl. Prefer something more sensual? Transfer it into your hand from the cup or bowl and eat it while looking at your partner.
- Lick the area you want to apply ash too and then gently and lightly roll the cigar across; the wetness will help the ash stick, but won’t disrupt the cherry. This works well for generally making people ashy and dirty too, if you like to play that way. If you top wants you to lick the ash areas like the fore arm work well. If you’re putting the ash on someone else’s body to eat it, favourite place is the inner thighs 😉
- Ash onto the toe of a boot or shoe and eat it from there. If you’re worried about the heat, stall for extra cooling time while making sexy faces, adorable noises, or kissing the boot/shoe around the ash.
- Ash into your hand; you can eat it directly from there or transfer it into your partner’s hand and then eat. Again, you can make with the stall tactics if you’re worried about heat.
Heat and taste are really the primary concerns I hear about eating ash. If your top is rolling the ash properly, the cherry won’t be coming off with it, and whatever heat there is will cool off quickly. When you do move into ashing directly into the mouth resist the urge to automatically close your mouth because that shoves any residual eat directly up there.
As for taste; wanna know what surprised me about eating ash?
- It was less gritty than I thought it would be.
- It was more salty than I thought it would be.
- Putting more than 2 inches of ash in my mouth at once has the same effect of the cinnamon challenge. Great for some scenes; not so much for others. I hope your mileage will very because sexy and sensual it is not.
One last tip? Eating a lot of ash makes some people queasy, so pack some water and simple carbs (digestive biscuits are great) to settle your stomach if need be.
Phew – anyone else feeling a bit excited?
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