ConDrop – a guide for the solo of us

I’m home from another fantastic conference and, like many people post event, and riding through a period of re-balancing – and thanks to the joy of social media I know I’m not the only one dealing with some feels.

If you’re a player then you know what goes up, must come down and depending on how intense of a con experience you just had you might be experience anything from a sense of dullness to feeling like you’ve run headlong into a brick wall.

There are some great resources out there for Con decompression on the interwebs and FL groups, but often the advice assumes you have a partner that you either head home with, or home too – and for many of us that simply isn’t the case.  Long distance relationships, solo polyamorists , single people – heck even people whose partner just happens to be out of town when you arrive home, there are lots of reasons we might be going through this sans other people.  Which can really be a bummer when you’re already feeling blue and the advice you receive is cuddle your partner!

So, here are my best tips for moving through event drop when you’re with yourself:

  • Practice gratitude – send notes to the awesome people you met letting them know what you appreciated about meeting them.
  • Create a cosy space for yourself.  For me, this looks like fuzzy sweaters and watching Mortal Kombat on the couch with to water to drink (I’m a sucker for a happy ending and 90s dance music).  If you’re a big fan of rope bondage, try some self tying.  If ritual does it for you, create a decompression ritual (kneeling contemplation while drawing a bath anyone?).   Take a moment to think about what cozy looks, sounds, tastes, and feels like to you; how can you create those sensations for yourself right now?
  • Limit media interaction.  I don’t think I’ve ever been confronted with a bubble burst so quickly as leaving the progressive, socially aware space of Catalyst Con and checking into Twitter the same time as news of the guilty verdict in the Steubenville rape was breaking.  Talk about an awful juxtaposition. The postcon world is not like the one you left; ease back into it.
  • Engage in some physical activity.   Whether it’s yoga, weight lifting, team sports, or solo cardio, engaging in some physical activity will help you get out of your head and kick-start the process of grounding you in your body.  Drag your self into this if you have to – it’s that important.

Further Reading:


So now that you’ve read this, and I hope that you’ll take a bit of time to read Reid’s article as well, what would you add?

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One thought on “ConDrop – a guide for the solo of us

  1. Blaze says:

    Thanks for this.

    You make me want to take an extra day off work after TEASE, and make an appointment to get my hair washed and “blown out”.

    After several days of being outdoors I feel strong, but I look feral, and taming my physical appearance always feels like a ritual for transitioning from camping back to the “real world”.

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