For a good number of months now I’ve been off Polyamory Weekly. I think I was just really fucking sick of relationships – talking about them and listening to people talk about them. I swear to god I couldn’t get more an 30 seconds in a podcast before starting to get angry and I’d switch over to the dulcet tones of Dart’s Domain to ease my throbbing head.
Perhaps though, this time has as come to pass because while I was flipping through podcast options today a PW title caught my attention: Jealousy and Courage
I know it caught my attention because these are two themes in my life at this very moment. I’m working through some jealousy, and in 8 days I’m heading off to a 600-or-so person event that I know I’m going to be very much on my own at. So as per my way, I’ll take potential resources where I can find even the slightest hint of them.
The episode starts off with Minx talking about the reasoning behind her recent Shibaricon class. People, she found, weren’t getting the experience they wanted from cons, they felt isolated – a bit disconnected. It’s not anything I haven’t spoken on myself….but every now and then it’s good to hear the words from someone else too.
Next comes a rebroadcasting of an interview with Franklin Veaux, who provided the quote I’m using as a title today. He reminds listeners that jealousy isn’t always bad, and gives some food for thought about follow up questions you should be asking yourself when you feel jealous. He also speaks about his personal belief that life rewards the courage — and that’s what’s really speaking to me right now.
So many cool things that have happened in my life have happened because I did something that was scary, be it quitting a job and moving cities, asking someone for a playdate, admitting insecurities and vulnerabilities, kissing someone not knowing if they would kiss me back… Going on tours with a smile on my face even though I knew no one and was petrified on the inside.
I think there is something behind this philosophy…. and it’s definitely something I want to keep with me while I travel to FetFest next week.