Practicing Mindfulness in Kink

Slow down, do things thoughtfully, with purpose and intention.

One of my goals for rest of 2011 is to practice increased mindfulness; so I’m going to apply it to my explorations in kink as well.  After all, it’s a pretty big part of my life.

So far 2011 has been a time of rebuilding and re-strengthening me.  Finding out and remembering who I am, what I value, and now, where to go from here.  Or as Andrew puts it, gently prodding the future I want into motion.  Isn’t he kind to my commitment phobic self?

So what does this new manner of thinking apply to?

  • Community
    • I will be the community I want to see.  Respectful, honest, open, helpful, passionate, and joyful.  This means increasing my efforts to support other organizers and fellow kinksters.  Building bridges by travelling to new spaces and learning from them.  The flip side to this, as I was reminded this morning during a conversation with an admired acquaintance, is how to engage with and promote these spaces respectfully, allowing them to preserve their integrity and the environment they’ve worked to create.
  • Play
    • Continue with the idea of quality over quantity.  Continue to say no and keep the focus on my ‘defining moments’.  Not sure what a defining moment is?  Close your eyes, starting thinking with your lizard brain and answer this question – what makes you wet?  That is a very quick and dirty paraphrase from an excellent class taught by Graydancer.  There’s a lot more to it; specifically how to get those defining moments, but nothing I can put here right now would do it justice.  You really outta take the class.
    • Re-explore service; attempt once again to find a way to have more of it in my life without feeling like I’m being taken advantage of or running the risk of burning out (again).

It feels a bit odd to categorize service under play.  Play is; well just that.   Play.    Service really is anything but play to me.  Service is… life.

  • Education
    • Figure out what I have to share in a concrete way.
    • Muse on a plan to do this

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