Do you ever feel like kink just isn’t that kinky anymore?
It’s been a topic in a few places lately – “it’s not about sex” and other lies (Andrea Zanin), Dangerous Rope (Graydancer), and Give Me Back My Shadows (Lee Harrington). While those articles aren’t all tackling the same subject matter, it’s the same idea – a suggestion that we’ve tipped the scales too far in one direction.
I’d argue that we haven’t. I’d argue nothing’s changed really – nothing except the people. We grow in our interest and desires – the things that excited us once no longer hold the same shine. The scenes that once took our breath away seem a little same old same old – in short…we fall into ruts. Kink hasn’t gotten less kinky, in fact, I’d argue kink is more kinky then it’s ever been due to social networking connecting perverts from around the world so they can come up with even more fucked up ways of getting their rocks off.
But sometimes we lose our focus with kink. Sometimes we need a reminder that it isn’t always about the how. Not about the technicalities behind a scene, but the emotions it ignites.
If you were at the GTA Rope Social last week this is exactly the reminder you got. Sir Dart presented a fantastic class on Bondage Bullfighting, which really took the focus away from creating a scene around rope, and took it back to creating a scene in which rope is a tool. The great news is, if you missed this class at GTARS, it’s being offered again at Kinky4Play on Friday October 8th. Here’s the skinny:
Bondage is more than simply memorizing a bunch of pretty knots. It’s an actual exchange of power and energy, a kind of “dance” between the dominant and submissive, that takes both parties on a journey to a common goal and catharsis. It is not unlike what a matador does with the bull during a bullfight. In this class we take a step back and re-examine the actual power exchange with the rope, and how we can create an amazing bondage experience, even with only knowing one type of knot.
During the evening Dart lead part of the class through an exercise in which he asked tops to tie their bottoms with specific emotional words in mind; words like nurture, ruin, and protector. From the audience perspective it was fascinating to watch the tops tie with such intent.
Intent that perhaps truly is missing from some people’s kink these days……and leaves us asking questions like What happened to kink?
Sometimes we need a reminder that there are other questions we should be asking. A kick to remind us there are other ways to do what we do.
Go out to the class.
Remind yourself of these other questions.
Reignite your kink.